I love Rainbows!

I say that because the weather has been so insane. Today it went from sunny to snowy and back again about 20 times. The other day there was a pretty rainbow and Averly was like "Ohhhh I love rainbows!". Im not looking forward to the heat of summer, but enough is enough with the snow!

I haven't written in quite a while. I finished winter term late march and ended with my best GPA in a long time. I actually made the Dean's list which felt good. Spring break was fun. Averly and I hung out the first 5 days, then my mom came to visit and that was awesome. I've never eaten so much pizza in my life. Spring term is already almost 2 weeks in. shesh. Time goes fast!

Microbiology is already really fun. Today in lab we got to take sterile swabs of some germy places and next week we get to see what grew. A&P lab has been fun so far too. I have to go to night labs, which means that Wednesday is a crazy long day for us. I can tell time is going to keep speeding by and before I know it its gonna be summer. sigh. For now I'm just enjoying people.

My life would suck without you.

Cause we belong together now, forever united here somehow. you've got a peice of me, and honestly, my life would suck without you

I really like that song.

Anyways, I had a lab exam for A&P on Monday and got 43.5 out of 50 right. Thats the best I've ever done on one of those tests. They are quite challenging, and I even had a nightmare that I did much worse. I am very pleased with that score!

Only 3 more days of school this term. Next week is finals week. When I say that, it makes me shake my head in disbelief. I can't even begin to explain how fast this term has gone.

I am the treasurer of the pre-professional health club and school, and I usually can't go to the meetings because they are at 8 at night. When I agreed to be treasurer, I was told the meetings would be at 5-6pm. Eight is Averly's bedtime. Well the club advisor was all pizzed off that I didn't go to the officer meeting last week, so I went to the club meeting last night. Lemme tell ya, biggest waste of an hour of my life ever. I had to walk out of the room because a girl was doing a power point presentation and Averly was too loud because she wanted to go home. So I went out into the hallway with Averly, and 40 minutes later, the chick still wasn't done! So I left. Freaking A. This club is so unorgainized and unprofessional. A professional club would have done the important business before the presentation. I just really hate this club. They haven't done a single useful thing. They spend their time planning to do stuff and never do it.I can't wait until the new treasurer takes over and I can be done!

Averly has been sleeping in until 9 am or later lately AND sleeping through the night. Its been so magical. I'm not banking on it lasting, but am sure going to enjoy it while I can! Unfortunately next term my classes start earlier so I will have to be up at like 9 am. Lame. Oh well, like I said, enjoy it while I can.

I'm going to confess something to you, blog. I have had a pretty silly crush on someone (don't worry, its a man) since the beginning of this year. This crush is entirely inappropriate. In the past I would have been too afraid to even talk to someone I have a crush on, but despite these two things, I've been unusually bold. I dont really want to go into details, especially since I'm writing this for myself. I guess my point is that sometimes I look at myself and I don't even know who I am. At the same time that I feel ashamed and baffled that I would be so brazen, I also don't want to always 'wonder' what would have been if I had just done that or said that. Its quite a conflict within me. Maybe all I really want to know is if this person likes me back.

So, I guess I had better go start getting ready for my day. Off to bathe and all the junk stuff that I do to get ready in the mornings. Good luck on your day.

Alondra

My mom just called me to tell me my cat is in the process is being "put out of its misery". Rather than being sad, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable and suspicious. Why do our animals only get sick when my mom's psycho ex boyfriend is staying at her house? Apparently instead of taking Alondra, the cat, to the vet to be put down, he voluntered to take her somewhere and kill her. I'm so grossed out by this. My mind is just flooded with all the horrible possibilities of how he could be killing her. I believe euthanasia is at least humane, unlike neck breaking, gun, stabbing, suffocating-all the ways that he could be killing her. I'm just grossed out, and worried about my dog, Mellow. I loved my cat dearly, and had her since I was 7, but my dog is my other baby. I wish I could have him here with me, but thats just not feesible. So he stays at my mom's house. My mom is "worried" about her ex boyfriend because apparently he is taking it really hard. That guy treated me like crap for 10 years, and showed me every psychotic bone in his body that I totally believe is capable of hurting not only animals, but humans as well. I can't even be sad right now because I just feel so gross inside. My instincts are telling me the circumstances of Alondra's death are more than suspicious.

I hope she knew I loved her.

I'm not on that bandwagon.

Some random thoughts....

Everyone gets so pissed off at people who don't speak english in the US, everyone hates immigrants so much. I'm not on that bandwagon. First of all, the US has no "official" language and only 82% of people speak english.I don't understand why people think that being born in America makes them better than someone not born here. I don't think most people realize that immigrants contribute greatly to the economy, often doing the jobs no one else wants to for very little pay. Everyone thinks they suck up our resources and get government benefits. The truth is that illegal immigrants wouldn't risk applying for government benefits, and in most states you cannot get them without proper documentation. Legal immigrants have the same rights to benefits as any american. Should they really not be able to get help buying food or help with medical insurance? I could get into the bigger question that are food and healthcare human rights and not just american rights? The real problem, if you are worried about the amount of taxes you pay and where that money is going, is government officials. They manage money poorly and thus taxes keep going up. The other problem is lazy lying americans who use up unemployment benefits and other benefits when they don't need or deserve them. I knew someone who was on food stamps because they couldn't get a job (and didn't want to get one) because they wanted to smoke weed all day and couldn't pass the required drug tests. Immigrants are not your problem, and if they are taking your jobs, they are probably better for the job that you are-go apply somewhere else. I will agree that I've been frusterated when jobs require you speak spanish in order to even apply. Im not angry at people who don't speak english (its a hard language to learn, and if they just don't want to learn it, and they want to struggle and be stubborn, thats their challenge to cope with). I think you angry americans, correction, you over-righteous americans need to take a look at the bigger picture and stop blaming your problems on people who come to this country for opportunity. who knows, maybe some day you will need to take refuge in another country. Would you like to be treated the way americans treat immigrants?

So the other bandwagon I'm not on....the "I'm gonna kill myself if I don't get a good grade on this test" bandwagon. We took two tests yesterday and everyone was freaking out. I don't think I did well on chemistry, and probably not so great on my A&P exam, but whatever. I'm not gonna get all depressed and start crying. Tests are just tests are just tests. In the great scheme of life, it doesn't really matter. I don't think a couple of bad test grades could keep me out of dental hygiene school. And if they did, then it was never meant to be in the first place. everyone needs to chill the heck out!

Besides taking those tests, I've been busy filling out my dental hygiene application. I need to somehow get my high school transcripts. besides that i just need to fill out one more thing and I can send it off! yay!

At the cross you beckon me, draw me gently to my knees. I'm lost for words so lost in love. So sweetly broken, wholly surennderred

Epiglottis, how you fail me.

Church was amazing this morning. They baptized 3 people and it made me tear up. It was just so great. I just love seeing people love God and love eachother. I know what dedicating my life to Jesus did for me, so seeing other people do it hits me on an emotional level. Its just the best thing anyone could do for themselves.

After church we met lacey at mcdonalds to study. While eating one of Averly's french fries, lacey said something that shocked me and I swallowed too soon. I felt the fry in my windpide. I tried to take a drink because I thought it would dislodge it. Then I finally coughed and got it out. The funny thing is that the entire time I was literally chocking, all I could think was "My epiglottis didn't close over my glotis fast enough, now food is in my trachea instead of my esophogus". Darn you anatomy! Its kind of funny. Our professor says you know you are a true Anatomist and Phisiologist when you think about it all day, and if I think about it while I'm chocking,then its definitely sticking with me! Now my chest hurts, so im actually concerned that i breathed some of the fry in. We'll see how that story develops.

Sitting here watching yo gabba gabba while I study and write this...

A pretty face.

We walked across town today. We stopped to park-play for about an hour. Then we walked to McDonalds. I ate some french fries, and regreted it. darn you french fries! my nemesis! I bought a few songs on Amazon this morning. I hadn't bought new music in a year. I just got a few feel good pop songs and some Christian tunes. While we were at the park I took a picture of us on my phone. It wasn't cute, I mean, I wasn't cute. Lately I've just been trying to accept my lack of physical beauty, and just "own it" since I can't really change it. Then tonight I was thinking about some of the people I know who aren't neccessarily the most model like, but whom I think are beautiful inside and out. Then I realized that even the most homely person can be beautiful if they are beautiful on the inside. So I need to focus on improving my inner beauty. I need to work on kindness, compassion, caring, selflessness, and all those other similar qualities that have a greater impact on the world than a pretty face does

Tomorrow is Valentines day. Averly has already agreed to be my "Balentine". She's sitting next to me watching the best of elmo right now. This morning she got in trouble for dropping a huge heavy juice container on my laptop. I told her she could have time out or a butt spanking, and that it was upto her. She said "I wanna say sorry". So I said "What are you sorry for" "For dropping the juice on mommy's computer". She didn't even need time to think about it in time out, she knew saying sorry was right, and I like that.

Were gonna go to chuch tomorrow morning. Then my friend Lacey is gonna come over and study A&P. Then we will probably go to church again in the evening.

"I called, you answered, and you came to my rescue and I want to be where you are. My life be lifted high, our world be lifted high, our love be lifted high. Higher and higher!"

2010

I haven't written in over half a year. We moved to a new apartment in october. I love it and am really so much happier in this new place than in the old one. Fall term went well. I had Anatomy and phisiology, chemistry, and math and medical terminology. Got a B in everything but medical terminology which was an A. Fall term was pretty crazy and I felt very scatterred because of the move across town, which I did entirely on my own thank you very much!

So now its Winter term. I have A&P again, chemistry, loans and lotteries, and medical terminology-the 2nd half of it. I've actually made some friends so yay. As of January 30th, we have lived here an entire year. I'm acutally impressed with myself for surviving a year on my own, with a kid, and while going to school. I think we did really well.

Averly turned 3 in November (and I turned 23). She has grown so much. She talks all the time and she is such a joker. She's also very big. They did a bone scan and she has the bones of a 5 year old. Her height and weight are about there too. Her and I have started taking walks on weekends and sometimes on thursdays or fridays, when I don't have school all day. So both of us are looking healthier.

I look around where I live and am grateful for it everyday. I'm so unbelievably blessed. I have a cute, comfy, cheap apartment, I get to go to college, we have plenty of food to eat, We have money to pay our bills, a car that runs, I'm getting to know people at school more, I have beautiful scenery to look at, I have an amazing and loving little girl, We are healthy and happy. Seriously, I cannot believe how blessed I am! Thank you, Lord!

I have my second Chem mid term next week and our first lab practical this term for A&P. my confidence has been way up the past couple weeks and I've felt really great. I'm hoping that continues. I'm working on getting my dental hygiene school application in. I feel busy most of the time, which is really fun. I will try not to let another half year pass before I write again...