Kane and Leah (hopefully my future landlords) got married last september. She goes to school for nursing and he is a firefighter. He is originally from Ephrata, which is quite "coincidental". I quote that because I do not believe in coincidence. They attend a First Baptist Church, have 2 dogs, and enjoy outdoor activities. They just purchased the duplex in December and remodeled the side we would be living in. It comes with all new appliances and a washer/dryer! It is 2 bedrooms 1 bath which is just the right size for us. The deposit is cheap and the rental agreement is month-to-month, which is hopefully a good thing.
This place is the very first place I saw online when I started looking for rentals. I read the description and just knew it was perfect for us. I called a few days later, it was the first call I made. Kane and I talked for a few minutes, and that is when he told me he is from Ephrata originally. The conversation went well, but when he asked about jobs and I said I would be looking when we arrived, he seemed to get turned-off to me as an applicant and abruptly ended the phone call. That night I emailed to the address listed on Craigslist.com (where I originally found the listing) just a bit about us and me. I kind of resigned myself that we would probably not hear back from him. I called on other places and filled out some applications, although I didn't send any in. A week and a half went by and finally, after I thought most hope was lost, Kane called me to get my email address. He sent me an application, I filled it out, and then after some more waiting, he called to tell me I was the lead applicant. I am hoping to find out for sure on Monday if we get it.
I am telling you all of this because I am hoping, once I get the place, you will see that it was meant to be. Never in my life have I experienced such assurance. Its like I can feel God doing things in my life and working towards our future to an extraordinary level. Never have I felt so much faith within myself that this is happenning and it is going to work out. I know the pessimistic nature of modern man has some looking at what I am about to do and saying "what if it doesn't work?" Perhaps I could never do justice to explaining why I have faith other than to point out, as I have in this and past blogs, how these events have transpired. Not only do I feel hope in my bones, I see things happenning that show me what I pray for is coming true. Just this morning when I saw in my email inbox a message from Kane's wife I got extremely nervous and discouraged because I thought "oh no..an email. They must be telling me I didnt get it and wanted to avoid telling me on the phone." I agonized in nervousness for a good ten minutes before I stopped myself, let go of it, and prayed. Then when the email still said we will probably get the place I was so angry with myself for questioning God and for doubting him.
This blog would go on forever if I explained how I know this is God's plan for me. Its not like I don't have worries, its not like there are not things and people I will miss here, its not like going out on our own out of the blue isn't a potentially dangerous thing to do....Its just that I FEEL, I KNOW, I HOPE, that this is a plan from God leading to the ultimate purpose he has for my life. Believe me, even just thinking God could have a plan for MY life makes me go "say what?!" I just wonder how could God use ME? Why would God take the time to plan something for MY life? I am so unworthy. On the other hand, I've known since I was nine years old, before I even had a relationship with God, before I even knew who Jesus was, that God was going to use me, that he had big plans for me. So now that I can feel (or is hear a better word? or I heard now I feel) him starting this plan into action, you can understand my excitment! Its like I feel him right by my side, or right behind my shoulder whispering in my ear "everythings is going to be alright."
I'm so excited about all of this because I feel like God is doing his will in my life. That is how I have assurance that we will be okay. That is how I know we will get the duplex, I will find a job, we will find a good daycare, and everything with school will work out. I feel like I am going where God wants me to go. So while there are aspects that are not easy, I submit myself wholly to the will of my Heavenly Father.
He gets out of jail in a little over 2 weeks.
I find myself panicking, just wanting to get out of here in time, before he gets out.
I get flashes of fear that maybe God's plan is not for us to move, but to stay, to suffer.
....but then I, first of all, slap myself in the face for thinking God would lie to me. God does not lie!
and second of all, I remind myself that if that is what happens, then it is the will of God, and thus exactly what I want.
Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
1 Chronicles 28:20 "Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly."
Hebrews 10:36 "Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised."
Psalm 48:14 "For that is what God is like.He is our God forever and ever,and he will guide us until we die."
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