Wishing and Hoping

I am so freaking excited yet so incredibly nervous at the same time. God told me a while ago that I would be moving to a certain place, I believed him and even looked into it, AND he even provided me with the monetary funds to make the move. The timing didn't feel right though. I felt like God was telling me to wait a while, maybe until I was done with school. While I was waiting I went back to church and have really been developing in my relationship with God. He has already done massive changes in my heart and has grown me so much. I still have incredibly far to go, obviously, but I am loving the journey. I ended up spending much of the money God provided me with on useless junk like clothes and groceries we didn't need. I think I had lost faith and given up on the idea of moving because it was taking so long for things to happen. I looked into a few different places to live than the original place God told me, thinking maybe the idea of moving was his idea, but the place was mine. Still, the timing just didn't feel right.

I had honestly started to accept the idea of a lazy existence. It had been almost 5 months since God had told me I would be moving, and I figured it just wasn't going to happen. Then some quite unpleasant events took place. Suddenly, in an instant, I found myself applying to school in the very place God told me I would go in the beginning. It is as if he was doing to applying for me. I had to pay $5o to apply, so I had to be sure it was the right thing. I hardly had to question it. God put in on my heart that my life was about to fall into place. I also went and applied for more financial aid.

This has all happened within the last two weeks. I feel like I've found the perfect place for us to live, but obviously if its meant to be then we will or will not get it. I am really having to trust God's timing more than I have ever had to in my life. Starting to read the book 'Harvest' has already provided me with a valuable insight. I need to be joyful in knowing my prayers will be answered before they are, and even without evidence that they will be answered, because God has promised me he will provide as long as I trust in him completely. I have to KNOW in my heart that things will work out the way God wants them to, and accept his way whether its what I thought it was going to be or not. Of course I have a lack of faith- fears that keep me worried and anxious about getting out of here in time and about having enough money and a place to live. I need to not worry, I need to be dancing with joy. God has a plan for me and my life, and if I submit myself to it I can be calm and assured that we are taken care of.

So I am very excited. I've decided to get a Bachelors (or maybe Masters) in Dental Hygiene. The funny (and by funny I mean God is totally awesome) thing about it is that I can remember as far back as 6 or 7 years God telling me that I would be a dental hygienist. I pushed the idea away because it was so much schooling, but now that I already have an Associates, it doesn't seem so difficult to get a couple more years. I am even really looking forward to it. I can't wait to experience real classrooms again. I can't wait to interact with people and challenge myself. I've been panicking about making our second month's rent and having money for childcare and stuff before my student aid is disbursed, but that is just one more thing I need to shut up and stop worrying about. God will provide!

I am telling very few people when I am leaving and where I am going because I don't really want everyone to know, especially not Avie's scary 'dad'. So if you read this, please be sure not to mention to anyone that we are moving. If you find out where we have gone after we leave, please keep it to yourself. Thank you =)